Travel

On Post-Travel Winding Down, Escaping from Rome, and Carrying On

July 31, 2023November 21, 2024 Beth DeFriesLeave a comment

We recently returned from vacation in Florida with Mike’s family, and while I am going to miss the beautiful, emerald waters and white sand of Miramar Beach, I’ve got to say that I am happy to be home.

Being able to get back into a routine and feel settled is always a reward after a long trip or travel day and this return was no different. We walked into the condo on Saturday night, left our carry-on suitcases and personal items by our entry area, and sat down on the blue couch to wind down from our journey.

Prior to leaving for a trip, we always try to leave our home somewhat neat so that it is pleasant to walk into upon returning. When dishes and laundry are done and put away and the clothes we left behind are tucked away where they belong, it makes the task of unpacking much more enjoyable. I usually unpack either right away or the morning after returning, putting clean clothes in the dresser and closet, laundry in the hamper, toiletries in the bathroom, and shoes on the shoe rack. I tuck my green, Away Carry-On suitcase, with the matching packing cubes inside, in the bedroom closet where it lives and hang my black, Marmot backpack up in the entryway closet.

I actually enjoy unpacking and as Mike could happily live out of an open suitcase on the living room floor for a week, I usually unpack for him as well because it makes me feel more calm and settled. Everything in our home has a place and that makes it easy to restore our home to its usual state after traveling and to rejuvenate for everyday life. And when those spaces become too full, it is our reminder to re-evaluate our stuff and declutter, if needed.

Growing up, my family did not travel a lot and the travel bug didn’t bite me until I was twenty-one, soon after I had moved to Brooklyn. For our first few trips, Mike and I traveled with a large, checked suitcase that we would borrow from Mike’s mom. It was bulky and difficult to lug to the airport on public transportation. When I first became interested in minimalism after watching Matt D’Avella’s documentary Minimalism: A Documentary About the Important Things, I wanted to approach the challenge of living light while traveling by packing carry-on only for a trip.

Our first experience traveling carry-on only for a long trip came in September 2017. We were headed to Rome, Florence, and the Amalfi Coast for ten days and after researching our destinations and the plentiful cobblestones and stairs there, it seemed like a perfect opportunity to test out our goal. I used what have become some of my staple travel bags for this trip: my ebags Mother Load Jr. Backpack and my Red House Vermont Waxed Canvas Book Bag Crossbody. I cannot tell you how many people I have recommended these bags to because I have lost track, and while they have jumped in price a bit, I still highly recommend both for functionality and durability in packing light. (Red House even offers discounts for new email subscribers if anyone is interested.)

For our 2017 Italy trip, carry-on only worked well for us and even came in more than handy, and potentially life saving, when we found ourselves trapped on the interior steps of our Airbnb in Rome, separated from the exit door by a tall, black, iron gate. We had a Frecce train to catch in about an hour to take us to Florence and it was torrentially downpouring outside.

After trying and failing to call our Airbnb host multiple times and banging on every door in what seemed to be a four-story, empty office building with an empty Airbnb, we panicked for a couple minutes and eyed the gate with more and more determination. “Fuck it; we’re gonna climb it,” I said with false confidence.

Neither of us really seemed to believe me.

I went first, placing my right, gray, Converse sneaker in the low foothold of the gate. I swung my left leg up and had to hop to push my thigh on the gate in order to propel myself over, adrenaline pumping too hard to feel the pain that would catch up with me later in the day. My left foot found the lower foothold and I could jump down to reach the floor. The accomplishment was too great to process and a surge of relief overcame the fear from moments ago. Mike, more determined and in semi-disbelief that I had climbed the gate, was able to toss our bags over and I caught them on the other side. He climbed and propelled himself over the gate and together, we ran to the Tabacchi around the corner to get our tickets for the bus to the train station. We were completely soaked within the thirty seconds it took to get to the Tabacchi and then waited at the bus stop, completely sopping, but out in the open air in Rome and nothing could be more wonderful than not being trapped anymore.

When we arrived at our Airbnb in Florence and unpacked, there were puddles in our backpacks and we hung our clothes up all around the room to let them dry, riding high on our escape from Rome until the shock and bruises set in. We spent our nights in Florence away from our humid room, our legs sore, drinking pints of beer instead of glasses of wine and reminisced about how we had climbed the gate.

On our recent trip to Rome this past spring, we revisited our Airbnb from 2017 and the experience gave us some closure that we needed. We posed in front of the doorway with frowny faces and our thumbs down, with the certainty that we would never stay there again and then we left to join my family for a delicious pasta dinner.

While packing carry-on only may not always come in quite as handy as it did for us on that first trip to Italy together, it makes it so much easier to get around while traveling, whether it be on public transportation, through the airport, or around a city. Having limited space in your travel bags encourages you to pack very intentionally and to use your creativity to create multiple outfits out of a small capsule wardrobe of items.

If you are planning an upcoming trip, I encourage you to try packing light and if you’re in for a real challenge, you could even test out the sense of freedom that comes with Carry-on only travel. Until next time, happy planning, happy packing, and happy travels. And if you ever face a tall iron gate of your own, I wish you luck, strength, perseverance and lots of cold ice packs.

Baby by the Ocean

July 23, 2023November 21, 2024 Beth DeFries1 Comment

Last summer, while visiting Portland, Maine over the Fourth of July holiday, we went with some friends to a beach in another coastal town nearby called Cape Elizabeth. It was a warm day, though not sweltering, but the shimmering water still looked inviting and we were determined to swim.

We abandoned our beach towels and coverups and approached the water with the knowledge that it would probably be cold. Reality hit with a frostbiting splash with the first steps into the waves. I thought of children by the beach in our shore town back home and of kids we’ve seen on vacation who, determined to jump into the pool first thing in the breezy mornings, would drag their less than excited parents to the poolside to participate and supervise and it made me wonder if discomfort is a learned behavior rather than an innate one.

How is it that a baby by the ocean can be so eager to continue splashing in the shallows even after that first icy touch? In that moment, I wanted a share of that sense of freedom and uninhibitedness, so I held my breath and dove into the crest of an oncoming wave. Submerged and compressed by the cold pressure under the surface, the water invigorated me, stunning my nerves, smoothing my skin, and spreading my hair out behind me.

Breaking through the surface, I gulped the July, Maine air, blood rushing back to my face, cheeks too hot despite the breeze on my chilled skin outside the water. A baby giggled and squealed in the shallows, eager to stay at the edge, daring and alive and oh so happy.

After that trip, I began to will myself to be like a baby by the ocean whenever I was faced with a difficult, but necessary situation. The words became a mantra that helped me through some challenging situations this year and I continue to find myself thinking of them.

The unknown can be frightening, but it was not always that way. The fear develops from the context of our experiences as we grow. Babies seem to approach the unknown with curiosity rather than fear and I envy that in them. I want to stand on the verge of an ocean of possibility, propelled by an insatiable curiosity for the future. I will abandon fear with my beach towel on the sand, excited to dive into foamy crests and come alive no matter how biting the water may be. I can follow the sun, break through the surface, and gulp in the air when I must.

And if you look closely from the shore, you will see me shine and the tide will change. The waves will pull, rise, and crest and I will follow. And for it all, I will be different when we meet again.

Mental Health · Poetry

Fortune Favors

July 12, 2023November 21, 2024 Beth DeFries2 Comments

My mind is a deconsecrated cathedral turned into hipster apartments full of whimsy, mismatched decor, and white-washed walls.

The Madonna weeps over a modern record player with the Abbey Road B-side scratching on repeat in a studio kitchen,

Majestic in her broken panes of stained glass, cemented together with black composite.

She is beautiful and her suffering-an art.

She is womanhood and childhood and loss.

Taken for granted,

Rent-stabilized cost of losing a savior

for location location location.

The stations of the cross taken down,

Their shadows left behind beneath un-frescoed white walls to make room for mass-produced art from Target.

My creativity, removed from its sepulcher during construction, is haunting the rooms, evicting the mundane tenants who are satisfied with the status quo.

The times they are a changin’,

Rearranging priorities and preferences,

The colors-more vibrant, the words-more bold.

I write on the walls with lipstick and crayon, like Harold in his purple world

With a grown-up twist.

Unformed and malleable,

Full of possibility and light,

I grow and glow.

I illuminate past the confines of the bulbs in the IKEA pendant fixtures,

A mixture of grace and insanity come to life in a way that finally pulls the room together.

Free to curate slowly with care,

My soul revived with abundant self-worth and self-love,

Absolutely enough

and ready to take on the neighborhood market – Upscale and laid back with an unbeatable view of the future.

I grip my grasp on happiness with a firm hold,

finally bold

And recognize that “can” is a word in my vocabulary again.

Survival does not depend on compromising on dreams and

Split seams can always be mended.

Everything will extend beyond fine.

Unraveled thread, re-wound.

Possibility abounding.

I am me. I am she.

I am mine.