My name is Beth! I hope you will join me on my adventures as I share my thoughts and writings on coziness minimalism, and life. So grab a cup of tea, mug of coffee, or glass of wine and letβs talk cozy!
It’s a slow Saturday here in our corner of the world. Breakfast’s been had and tea after that. Our pajamas have turned into our actual outfits by this point and there is little planned for the rest of the day other than to prep for some visitors later on.
I am clicking through Paris on Google Maps, acquainting myself with the city for a trip that’s still a ways off, but will surely have come and gone before I am ready to be done with it.
The neighborhoods swirl clockwise from the city’s center like a snail’s shell in mint and white shapes, each one dotted with landmarks. Le Louvre with its pyramid and crowded galleries. La Conciergerie and Place de la Concorde with their revolutionary significance. La Tour Eiffel glittering in the blue night. Montmartre glowing at the feet of Le Sacre Coeur. C’est trΓ¨s merveilleux, n’est-ce pas?
We cannot see it all at once and so the planning ahead is necessary. We must pick and choose our favorites. It’s so difficult, but in that is the challenge, the fun, the stakes.
Outside, the ocean’s a murky sort of seafoam, dotted with a heaping serving of white sprinkles, under an overcast sky. It’s my perfect writing weather and so I thought I’d do just that.
Just outside, the naked rose of Sharon braces against the breeze, stewing in envy of the nearby trees with their branches clad in bunches of youthful green.
Mike’s playing Noah Kahan’s new album and I’m drinking in the melodies like lazy sips of cool lemonade on an August day.
The posts here have been few and far between these days. I’m sorry if you’ve noticed and had hoped for more. I’ve been getting happily lost in fiction writing instead, wandering into stories that don’t have endings yet until they do, meeting strangers that become important people in my life, creating my own simulated versions of reality from my little desk.
Since quitting coffee over a year ago, I’ve felt less of an impulse to share the personal stuff. I like the quiet in my head, the space to create and rationalize, to come to terms with the thoughts that have slowed from a race to a brisk walk. I am happy despite some chaos this year. I accept myself as I am and all that comes with that and there is more peace in that simple act than I would have ever imagined. I wish that acceptance for everyone.
I hope that once you finish reading this, you reflect on the miracle of your mere existence and make whatever you like of it in a positive way, whether it’s the most, good enough, or the bare minimum. Just know that you are marvelous, whatever you choose, and for you, I am grateful.
How y’all doin’, friends? Last week, we packed our carry-on bags to near-bursting and flew down south to Nashville for a change of scenery, some good music, and some truly amazing food. This was our second visit to Music City, after going in December of 2022 and, this time around, we made it our mission to venture beyond the bright lights of downtown to experience some of the city’s beautiful, vibrant, and quirky surrounding neighborhoods.
Broadway, Nashville, TN
East Nashville Food Crawl
The first day of our trip was a delicious adventure and my mouth is watering just remembering it. Temperatures in the eighties and abundant sunshine had us wanting to be outside, shaking off the frost that we’d accumulated, up north, this icy winter. Mike scoped out some recommended spots in the culinary wonderland that is East Nashville and we took a Lyft from our hotel in SoBo to our first stop for the day, Sho Pizza Bar.
Stop 1: Sho Pizza Bar
Sho Pizza Bar was a bright, airy, open kitchen-style, Michelin Bib Gourmand establishment. We arrived soon after opening and were seated at the bar, a perfect location to spectate as the chefs prepared the ingredients for the day’s orders. Scents of hickory, oak, precisely fermented dough, and simmering vegetable stock permeated the space as we perused the menu for what would be the most appropriate pizza for breakfast, taking into account that we planned to do a lot of eating for the rest of the day across the sprawling neighborhood.
We settled on the “Supermarg”, which was similar to a traditional Neopolitan-style margherita pizza, but with buffalo mozzarella, an ingredient that the restaurant flies in each week from Italy, according to their website. As we waited for our pizza to be ready, we watched the chefs behind the bar rolling out dough on the countertop and spreading it with fresh toppings before nestling the soon-to-be-deliciousness into the massive wood fired oven.
When our pizza was served, we were advised to use the provided shears to cut our own slices. We did as instructed and took our first bites. Somehow crispy and airy at once as well as both light and flavorful, this pizza was the perfect way to warm up our bellies for the day. We each paired our meal with a Peroni 0.0% and were soon off to our next stop, on foot.
Stop 2: Southern Grist Brewing Co.
Our walk from Sho Pizza Bar to Southern Grist Brewing Co. took us through some of the residential streets and main thoroughfares of East Nashville. On our journey, we noticed an abundance of new and in-progress construction, as well as homes that represented the former appearance of the neighborhoods. Many of the new homes appeared to be very recently built, residual dirt from construction still dusting the sidewalks and street that corresponded to each renewed property.
Warm from walking in the sunshine, we snagged a spot in the shade on Southern Grist’s front patio. We ordered some beers, a Handsome Devil (NZ Pilsner) and a Teal (NE IPA), to start, and enjoyed chatting, sipping, and planning our next move. Soon, a freight train rolled in on the nearby tracks and we noticed the traffic starting to accumulate at the crossing.
Enjoying some brews at Southern Grist Brewing Co.
We learned later in the day, from our Lyft driver, that the freight trains that come through East Nashville are notorious for causing loooong traffic delays. He said that if you’re gonna get stuck at a train crossing, you might as well have packed a lunch. That being said, I took the below pictures thirty minutes apart.
We stayed at Southern Grist for one more brew to share, enjoying the warmth and pleasantness of the patio area, opting for a Toro y Oso (Mexican Lager). We adjusted our next stop plans based on the lack of movement from the train, opting to head in the direction of Five Points vs. McFerrin Park, not wanting to be trapped by the motionless freight train later on.
Stop 3: East Side Banh Mi
After our beers, Mike was feeling a banh mi, a Vietnamese sandwich and I had never had one, so we took a little detour on our way to Five Points to give East Side Banh Mi a try.
A quick service-style spot, serving up brilliant Vietnamese flavor, we ordered a Pork Banh Mi to share. The sandwich came on a pillowy baguette and was packed with pork shoulder and crunchy vegetables, both pickled and fresh, and an ignorable hint of creamy shallot mayo. Let’s just say I won’t shy away from this food option next time it’s a contender in a list of lunch options.
Stop 4: Five Points Alley Shops
Ok guys, so this one isn’t a food stop, but our stomachs needed a little break from consumables for a little bit. Instead, we decided to feed our hunger for some Nashville culture and wandered into Five Points Alley Shops, a collective of tiny shops in small, hut structures, selling things like vintage clothing and accessories, used books, and creations by local artisans. I had fun perusing the racks of vintage clothing, pulling out things like a cropped and de-sleeved Destin, Florida tee and a pair of red an green tartan knee-length, high-waisted, culotte shorts which I turned to Mike and said “Christmas shorts?” and he replied, “I mean…”
Stop 5: Hunters Station, Everbowl
“I’m feeling like a smoothie,” I said to Mike as I came out of Defunct Books, coming up empty on my latest used bookstore search, a copy of Shakespeare’s MacBeth.
Mike did a little tappy-tap-tapping on his phone and found a place in Five Points called Everbowl that looked like it might be a decent option. As a side note, Everbowl looks to be a chain that is located all over the US, but there is not one in New Jersey and this was our first time trying it.
Everbowl was a located inside a vibey, food court-style setup called Hunters Station where the air conditioning was cool and necessary and many cozy corners and counter seats contained artsy-looking individuals staring intently at their laptop screens, their ears invisible beneath noise-cancelling headphones.
We surveyed the menu over the counter at the Everbowl stall and decided on a “Whatever Smoothie” with a mango base, frozen bananas and spinach, and peanut butter. Friends, have you ever been really craving a food or drink, but you can’t quite put your finger on exactly what it is that you want? And then you order something random and by the miracle of all the Gods in the Heavens, it hits your tastebuds in all the right spots and then some? Well that was this smoothie for me. Too much? I don’t care. Moving on!
Our “Whatever Smoothie”
Stop 6: Lockeland Table
The final stop on our East Nashville food crawl was a beautiful little spot situated in the Lockeland Springs neighborhood.
Lockeland Table advertises something called their “Community Hour” on their website, a trademarked coinage for their own spin on the traditional happy hour, only with a mission-based twist. This service is open to diners from 4-6pm Monday through Saturday, and unlike a regular happy hour, it has a purpose that stretches beyond the confines of the restaurant’s property and accounts. Some of the proceeds from Lockeland Table’s “Community Hour” go directly toward Parent Teacher Organizations for schools in Nashville and the surrounding areas. Who could resist a good deal on drinks and small plates, especially when it comes with a side of community enrichment.
We were seated on the patio out front by a friendly hostess and ordered the black eyed pea hummus to share and a couple of muddled old fashioneds off the “Community Hour” menu and then added some red Thai curry steamed PEI mussels off the main menu, for good measure.
The staff at Lockeland Table were so friendly and welcoming, making this a perfect last stop on our East Nashville food crawl for the day. We ordered a Lyft and made our way back to our hotel in SoBo, in Nashville proper to prepare for our planned evening activity.
NHL at Bridgestone Arena: Predators vs. Devils
We didn’t realize it was going to be pride night at Bridgestone Arena when we entered, but the sparkly, excited atmosphere made the game all the more enjoyable. The Bridgestone staff, the LGBTQ+ community, and the arena full of allies in attendance really made the night a celebration of love, community, and, of course, music, that was fun to witness. There was glitter. There were performers. There was a custom Pride night Predators logo designed by a local print artist, Tiffany Evans.
During each intermission, we got to experience the incredible talent of performer, Brady Riley, who looked fab in a pair of knee-high, heeled, silver boots, glittery makeup, and a long, custom Preds jersey. Brady’s versatile setlist included covers of songs by Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus, and Ozzy Osbourne, all amazing.
Brady Riley and band performing at Bridgestone Arena
We have been to away hockey games before where the home fans are less than kind to fans of the visiting team. This was not our experience in Nashville. The fans were, for the most part, respectful, and there to have a good time and support their team and not dole out animosity toward the other fans, aside from the normal hockey chants which you’ll sit through at any game.
In the end, the Devils won, serving as the cherry on top, for us, though the Predators fans would disagree. Still, afterwards, we saw lots of Preds fans out having a great time in the city, despite their team’s loss.
We enjoyed some music at Legend’s Corner on Broadway after the game.
Day 2: 12 South, Centennial Park, The Ryman Auditorium
Virgin Hotels Nashville
We checked out of our first hotel of the trip, Holiday Inn & Suites in SoBo and headed to our second, Virgin Hotels Nashville, in Music Row.
We checked in early, having called ahead about storing our luggage, only to be told that our room was already ready. The check-in process was smooth, informative, and welcoming. The hotel also had a dedicated welcome ambassador who was present at check-in to offer us some witty remarks, welcome info, and heaps of character.
We dropped our bags off in our room and took in the details of our home away from home for the next two nights. We were not disappointed. Having booked this hotel through Chase Rewards, our stay also came with certain amenities like included breakfast at the Commons Club Restaurant in the lobby and a daily property credit that could be put towards experiences, dining, or drinks in the hotel. Part of our welcome package was a box of “GooGoo Clusters” which we tried immediately, our breakfast of champions, savoring the chocolate, caramel, nougat, nutty goodness before heading out to our next stop, in search of some real food.
12 South
If you find yourself wandering around downtown Nashville in the morning and are wondering where all the bachelorette party herds have gone to, I have the answer for you! They are dressed to the nines, parading, dining, and shopping their way through the cute, boutiquy, and culinary hub that is the 12 South neighborhood.
Heading into the 12 South neighborhood
Our goal was to get a nice breakfast at The Buttermilk Ranch, a plan quickly thwarted by the lack of availability due to the visiting bachelorette party community that Nashville has become somewhat famous for.
No sweat, we thought, we’ll just try our back up option, which honestly looks pretty darn good too! We headed to The Frothy Monkey and put our names in for the 50 minute wait. We took to window shopping along 12th Ave South to pass some of the time, peeking into colorful shops like Reese Witherspoon’s Draper James before just having a seat on a bench and deciding to people watch instead. We wondered aloud to each other if the plethora of ladies in their cropped boho tops, short skirts, and cowboy boots were freezing, while we pulled the tabs of the zippers on our rain jackets a little higher.
The Frothy Monkey
We were seated in the interior side porch section at Frothy Monkey, a pleasant room just off the main restaurant. Outside the bright windows, it was growing increasingly gray and chilly and inside it smelled like roasted coffee beans and warm bread. I ordered a chai latte with almond milk, craving something warm and cozy (craving coffee to be really honest with you) and, influenced by the influencer-esque crowd all around us, a mimosa as well.
For breakfast, I ordered the Broadbent Omelette, fresh eggs with bacon, cheddar, onions and roasted peppers, which came with a side of fresh sourdough. Mike opted for the Shrimp and Grits, blackened shrimp with andouille sausage, tomatoes, peppers, and onions over smoked gouda grits. Mike’s meal ended up being among my favorites of the foods we tried on this trip. So, so good.
Five Daughters Bakery
After breakfast, we walked off a couple of bites by zigzagging the bungalow-lined residential streets of 12 South with the goal of making room in our bellies to share a doughnut from Five Daughters Bakery.
From the array of offerings, we opted for the chocolate chip sea salt and wouldn’t you know it, we seemed to have made just enough room to split it!
Full of breakfast and dessert, we thought we ought to walk to our next spot via a scenic route.
Belmont University & Vanderbilt University
Our ultimate destination was Centennial Park and we decided we’d walk through the scenic campuses of Belmont University and Vanderbilt University to get there. Belmont University had a quintessential, “collegiate” feel to it. The pretty campus had lots of Greco-Roman architecture on display, statues of gods and goddesses, as well as sprawling, lush, green lawns that would be an enticing draw for most prospective students, I’d imagine.
Vanderbilt’s campus was more sprawling, with picturesque pockets of courtyards, pathways, and bridges sprinkled amongst a satisfying mix of both traditional and modern architecture.
A photo of some of the Vanderbilt campus from our previous trip
Centennial Park
On our previous visit to Nashville, one of my favorite experiences was going inside the replica of the Parthenon, built for Nashville’s Centennial Celebration in 1897, to see the 42-foot statue of the goddess, Athena, that the structure houses. Unfortunately, on this trip, the Parthenon was closed for HVAC refurbishment.
Because we could not go in to visit the beautiful, big lady this time around, I will add some photos from our previous visit, as Athena made such an empowering impression on me last time that I was so looking forward to seeing her again. This was a learning moment for me, friends. Even if there is an activity you think you’ll definitely do on your trip, so much so that you don’t even need to research more about it, just save yourself some day-of disappointment and check that it will be open.
We made it back to Virgin Hotels Nashville on tired legs and feet after spending most of the day walking. We decided to just kick off our shoes and rest a while before our next activity.
The Ryman Auditorium
We visited the Ryman on our previous trip for the tour of the venue and the Rock and Roll Museum that they have onsite. This time, around, we were there for the music.
If you’ve read my past travel posts, you’ve seen me mention a certain band a few times now, one of our favorites who we seem to have a tendency to follow around. Anyway, they are called Trampled by Turtles and they are an Americana band made up of wildly talented string musicians. Getting tickets to Trampled’s show at The Ryman was actually the catalyst to us planning this entire trip.
The Ryman Auditorium, also dubbed “The Mother Church”, is a stunning, historic music venue with stained glass windows, wooden pews, a wooden stage, and a wooden ceiling. Wood is excellent for amplifying acoustics and so, the sound in this venue is something else. What I didn’t consider when I got so excited about seeing our favorite band at the Ryman was that the atmosphere would be more akin to that of going to the symphony rather than a lively concert experience.
As the Ryman is located in a historic venue, in a super touristy area, you might get a mix of people who are fans of the band and people who just want to experience some music in a famous venue, they could care less what it is. For fans, this makes for a somewhat lackluster concert-going experience.
Despite the different-than-expected experience, we still had a good time, though, I’m sorry to say, I probably wouldn’t go out of my way to see a favorite band perform at The Ryman again since I enjoy the community experience that comes from being in a crowd of like-minded fans that just want to stand up, sing along, and dance to their favorite music.
Day 3: Exploring Our Hotel & The Station Inn
Virgin Hotels Nashville Rooftop
We decided to give our tired legs and feet some more time to rest before heading back out to explore some of the city’s offerings. We grabbed a delicious brunch in the hotel lobby at Commons Club, then took a nice long nap before venturing up to the rooftop to grab some cocktails, views, and a bite to eat.
The Station Inn, The Gulch
We left our hotel late in the afternoon to catch a show at the legendary Station Inn, an iconic bluegrass venue in The Gulch, taking our turn being the spectators going to a show to experience the venue. Lucky for us, Station Inn is more of a sit and listen type of place on the regular.
On this visit, the Station Inn was taking part in hosting the Tin Pan South Songwriters Festival and we got some tickets to see Marla Cannon-Goodman, Jaida Dreyer, Kylie Frey, and Stephanie Lambring. Each performer was incredibly talented and entertaining, their songs ranging from heartfelt to hilarious.
We also learned on this visit that one of the performers we got to experience at The Station Inn on our previous visit to Nashville, Ronnie Bowman, had passed away the week before due to a motorcycle, vehicular accident. It was evident amongst the performers and the people behind the bar that this loss was felt deeply amongst the Station Inn community and it was emotional to see the performers paying tribute to their late friend with songs they’d co-written or performed with him previously.
Ronnie Bowman, Rob McCoury and the Sparkomatic Coaxials with surprise guest, Billy Strings, December 2022
Germantown
We trekked from The Gulch, across Downtown, to Germantown. We were in pursuit of Bao, brews, and a big, hot pretzel.
The bao at Steam Boys in Germantown was up there among my favorite things we ate on this trip. I ordered the beef gua bao, which was packed with spice and warm flavor on a satisfyingly squishy bao bun. Mike opted for the chicken which he also said was excellent.
Next, we headed to Von Elrod’s Beer Hall & Kitchen and grabbed a couple seats at the bar. I got the M.L. Rose Owl Lager, brewed in Asheville, NC and we ordered a Classic Bavarian Pretzel to share.
Von Elrod’s Beer Hall & Kitchen
Day 4: Cheekwood Estate & Heading Back Home
On our last day in Nashville, we had some breakfast at our hotel, checked out of our room and had the concierge desk store our bags.
We ordered a Lyft to take us to the Cheekwood Estate, a historic home and botanical garden located about a twenty-five minute drive from Downtown Nashville. I recommend booking your tickets for this in advance, if this is an activity that you are interested in, as we had noticed tickets were sold out when we originally planned to go, the day before. The Cheekwood Estate staff encourages visitors to take ride shares to the property, as parking is somewhat limited. They even gives discounts if you can provide proof of your rideshare dropping you off at Cheekwood, so that is pretty nice!
We enjoyed exploring the grounds of the Estate which was blooming with tulips on our visit. We purchased the house and gardens ticket and went into the house to explore some of the estate’s beautiful, private rooms.
We returned to our hotel to pick up our bags and ordered an Uber to whisk us off to the airport. In the terminal at BNA, a musician was playing a live acoustic set, taking requests from the travelers in the vicinity, giving us one last reminder of what Music City’s all about before we boarded our flight to head back to reality, once more.
Bonjour, mes amis! It’s March and today just seemed like a good day to write a blog post. I have no idea where this particular post is going yet, so just bear with me and we’ll meander on the screen together. How’s that sound?
Like crickets.
Ok. Good! Allons-y! What’re we waiting for?
Life’s been a little stressful lately, but nothing we can’t handle with little tiny baby steps, day by day. The temperatures here in our corner of the world dipped into low single digits a few weeks back and let’s just say the pipes at my family’s home and rental property down the shore didn’t fare so well. That’ll be a story for another day though, once I can draft a worthy intro, unlike that in today’s post, and once I can process the whole experience and all that’s been in the works since, amid a reconstructed setting.
Today’s a morning for decaf Earl Grey in my favorite mug, a big little thing that’s helping me keep sane amid the upheaval of the past few weeks. Writing has been another salvation, when I get the time for it, and reading, of course. I’m crawling through Maeve Binchy’s Circle of Friends and having a lovely time of it, with Celeste Ng’s Little Fires Everywhere on deck.
I’m wrapped up in a big fuzzy, brown sweater today and my most comfortable blue jeans, my cross between Hagrid energy and power outfit for the day, with a big splash of cozy. I feel tired already and there’s a good chance I’ll fall asleep on the couch at 9 pm yet again, in exactly what I’m wearing, too warm and cozy under the sherpa fleece pumpkin blanket that Danielle and Corey gave me for my birthday a few years back now, so there’s that to look forward to… What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, as the saying goes, and also makes you inexplicably sleepy, apparently.
We change the clocks this weekend and the days are getting lighter for longer. Spring is on the horizon and, with it, warmth and progress. I’m looking forward to some travel this month, to white sand and turquoise waters, to good music and a reunion with a goddess, but more on those adventures to come.
In the meantime, stay sane, stay warm, and find a little moment of happiness in today. π
On one of my visits to the library this past summer, I approached the circulation desk and set down the book that I’d come to check out. As I fished out my library card, the librarian picked up the book, beamed down at the cover and said with giddy satisfaction, “Ooh! A love story!”
I can see how she might have gotten confused. The cover did have a couple embracing on a beach, backlit by a sunset, after all. I had also just finished reading Stephen King’s horror fantasy epic, The Dark Tower series and could see why she might be relieved to see me choosing something a little more frivolous in nature from the shelves.
As a seed of intrigue began to grow within me, I wondered if I should correct her or not. On the one hand, I wanted to see her reaction. This felt important, for some reason. For me, for her, and for the library assistant who was an innocent bystander throughout this entire exchange. On the other hand, it was almost guaranteed to spawn an awkward situation. I decided to lean into the awkwardness, mostly just out of curiosity, wanting to see what would happen.
“More of a self help book, actually,” I said.
The librarian looked down at the cover again and I watched as her expression turned from confusion to alarm as she read the title and the subtitle there. The 5 Love Languages, The Secret to Love That Lasts.
Hindsight caught up with me immediately and I thought to myself, Now, why did you do that, Beth? This poor woman.
She scanned my library card quickly, cleared her throat, and said, “Well, good luck.”
She pushed the book back toward me across the counter. And with that, I walked out of the library trying to suppress a smile until I was clear from view.
I took Gary Chapman’s acclaimed book out of the library that day after having had a recent conversation about it on a family vacation this summer. That conversation was not the first time that I had heard about the book or been asked by friends, to my own confusion, “What’s your love language?” That conversation did, however, pique my interest enough in Gary Chapman’s process to want to read the book for myself and see what all the buzz was about.
It took me a few hours to read through the entire book on that summer day. I enjoyed the direct language and the real-life anecdotes sprinkled throughout the guide and once I was through, I took the assessment at the end to identify what I had come to learn in the first place, my own love language.
According to Gary Chapman, the five love languages of human relationships are as follows:
Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.
These categories do not only pertain to how you receive love romantically, but how you receive love in your other relationships as well, such as with family members, friends, and community members.
As I read through the book, I found myself trying to identify how different family members and friends might best receive love and could see how expressing love towards them via my own receiving love language or my secondary love language, would not be equally sufficient across the board for them all.
According to the assessment, my primary love language ended up being “Words of Affirmation”. This tracks, friends. Of course it’s the words one, right? When I think of the times I feel most loved, it is because someone is expressing positive sentiments towards me with their words and tone. The times when I feel least loved can be traced back to hurtful or indifferent words and / or harsh delivery. I had been wondering as I read if my language would be “Words of Affirmation” or “Acts of Service”, as I found myself reflecting on how I communicate love to others and noticed that I naturally express love through acts of service.
As I told my husband about my takeaways from reading the book, I asked him if he felt loved when I did things like doing the laundry, the dishes, or cleaning the house. He looked at me, confused, as I imagined he would, as though it was crazy to think anyone would feel love from such acts. Some people do, ok! My person, however, does not, and it’s helpful to know that now. I made a quick mental note, then and there, that I would need to make a conscious adjustment in how I express love, catering toward my loved ones’ suspected languages, rather than relying on my own natural tendencies to effectively accomplish that task.
It was funny to me how quickly I went from being a little embarrassed about checking out a relationship self-help book from the library to sharing the merits of said book with my closest friends. Having checked the book out with the goal of improving my skills in communication, I wanted to share the resource because, in my opinion, it’s nice to have the information before you actually need it. And though it’s nice to think you aren’t going to need it, the truth is, there might come a moment where it could offer some support that you might not naturally be equipped with in your mental and emotional arsenal. In other words, relationships can be hard sometimes. The most important things often are, though, aren’t they?
In anticipation of Valentine’s Day which is coming up this week (but also just for everyday lovin’), here are some suggestions for how to show love for each of the love language categories:
Words of Affirmation:
Verbally express positive sentiments toward your loved one via phrases such as these: “I love you because…” “I’m proud of you for…” “I appreciate how you…” “You look beautiful/handsome.” “You are smart.” “You are talented.” “I love it when you smile.”
For Words of Affirmation people, remember that tone plays as much of a role as the words themselves do. Sincerity and a light, positive tone can go a long way with these word lovers.
Acts of Service:
Do something for your partner, friend, or family member. It helps to know the types of services that they would be the most grateful for, of course. That might be a learning process to figure out, though try thinking back to conversations you might have had with them. For example, is there a chore that your partner always does that they don’t particularly enjoy doing, such as doing the dishes or figuring out what to do or make for dinner? Why not take that off their hands once in a while, unprompted, even if it does not feel natural to do so.
Other examples could be decluttering a space, taking the car for an oil change, taking the dog for a walk, meal prepping, taking out the trash and recycling, or giving them a shoulder massage.
Receiving Gifts:
Does your partner light up at the sight of a little gift bag or a bouquet of flowers? Do they show unbridled joy for that meme you saw and texted them just because it made you think of them? You might have yourself a partner then whose love language is gifts.
“Gifts” don’t have to be expensive to be appreciated. It helps if they are thoughtful or personal somehow- a flower picked on a walk in the park together for example or a seashell from the beach, just something you came across with them in mind is all it really takes. That being said, purchased items are appreciated by gift lovers as well. Try to get a sense of the things your partner gravitates towards when shopping or travelling to get a better sense of something that would not only make them feel loved, but be practical and enjoyable for them as well beyond just being a positive association with you.
Quality Time:
Making time for loved ones might not come naturally to everyone, but it certainly goes a long way for people who have Quality Time as their love language. Don’t scroll on your phone at dinner. Be present and listen to your partner and ask them about their day. If your partner isn’t a big talker, maybe you do the talking by bringing up an article you read or an interesting YouTube Video you recently watched or an advertisement for a travel destination that you noticed on your commute.
I just finished reading a great novel, A Gentleman in Moscow by, Amor Towles, in which two characters enjoy playing a particular game every time they are waiting for their dinner to come at a restaurant where they establish a category, such as ‘things with stripes’ or ‘famous trios’ and alternate naming examples with the goal of being the last to run out of examples.
Play a boardgame, do a puzzle, talk about your goals for the future. Just remember that quantity is not the same as quality, so make sure the time is filled with conversation or an experience and not idle.
Physical Touch:
Even so much as sitting next to your partner with some part of you touching them goes far with this love language. There is the obvious, of course, but remember that there is also love in smaller gestures. Holding hands, giving a shoulder massage, giving them a hug or a kiss, even brushing or combing their hair can be ways to show your love for them. For times when you are a not physically near each other, try sending a picture of yourself smiling or adding emojis that represent touch to text messages that you exchange with them, just something to bridge the sensory gap of distance and make you feel closer than you physically are.
I hope this post inspires some of you to reflect on your own relationships and communication styles. Whether your relationship is absolutely perfect or more of the rollercoaster variety, perhaps it is more in your power than you thought to be a better master of your own joy and your ability to create joy for others around you. Not all partners have the same love language and expressing love in a different love language than your own might take some extra work. With that said, the payoff might be bigger than you think and could even lead to a partnership of more consistent mutual enjoyment, fulfillment, and of course, love.
In case you are still wondering about that poor librarian, I regretted making her feel awkward that summer day pretty instantly, but also Mike and I had a good laugh about it later that night when I told him about the exchange. Maybe sometime I should take out a book on being a more socially acceptable human being (or perhaps an actual love story while that same librarian is working) π. I have too many books on my to-read list for now, however, so please take me as I am in the meantime, and thank you for your patience, world.
Though it’s all too commercialized here in the US right now, remember that once the heart-shaped balloons and chocolate boxes are taken down from the shelves, love should still be an everyday priority in each relationship that you have with your loved ones. Thank you all for reading this post and for being part of this community. I am thankful for you all for fueling this creative outlet of mine. π
It’s January once again, friends. The treadmills at the gym are more populated than usual, the temperatures outside are biting and sharp, and the potholes are expanding into craters with each new round of salt and snow.
The December electric bill revealed a number that I was shocked to see, so I’m choosing to live in fleece, chunky sweaters, thermal leggings, and wool socks regularly, to keep the cold at bay and the thermostat a little less high. I boil the kettle a few times a day and bundle up for brisk walks through the park or to the library.
In 2025, our resolution was to travel somewhere different every month and that was fun and a little bit intimidating at the onset, to be entirely honest. We actually managed it though, something I was skeptical would happen if you talked to me this time last year. These trips have enriched our lives and fueled our sense of adventure, though I’m not itching to go anywhere else just yet. The break from constant trip planning and booking and financing is a welcome one. I’m sure I’ll be desperate for some journey sometime soon, but for now, I’ll take the calm with gratitude.
2025 was a year of trying new things, of starting from square one, and of pursuing my creative goals with more focus and intention. The act of writing my January Postcard on this same day last year served as a major catalyst for this switch in my creative approach. Here’s hoping this post leads me to as much motivation as that one did.
I read a few books this year that helped me improve my productivity, nutrition comprehension, and relationships. I am grateful to have come across these books and to the library for having them. I’d recommend them all: Atomic Habits by James Clear, Eat, Drink, and Be Healthy, The Harvard Medical School Guide to Healthy Eating by Walter C. Willett, and The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, particularly this last one which really had me reflecting on all of the relationships in my life as I read, from that with my husband to that with my family members, my friends, etc. I think that it is extremely important to be conscious of how the people that you love best receive love.
Coffee has not been a part of my diet since mid-April and I’m really proud of myself for this. This is the longest I’ve gone without coffee since before I started drinking it my sophomore year of college. I don’t miss the impulsiveness, the anxiety, and the aggression that accompanied the habit, for me. Whenever I hear a car honking at someone on the road these days, I think, “Somebody hasn’t had their coffee.” No, I don’t miss that agitation for myself one bit.
I haven’t set a resolution for this year yet. Perhaps I’ll aim to be more mindful, to be intentional with what I consume, and to be better at recognizing all the little things that are good rather than all the little things that are bad. I don’t know if a negative bias can be flipped, but I am going to actively try. In broad terms, my resolution is to live well, for myself and for those around me and to not take away from them living well. I will read plenty and write plenty because it gives me a sense of purpose and fulfillment which leads to more happy days. I will spend time in the company of the people who I love and I will be present and grateful.
I hope you are all reading this somewhere warm and pleasant, whether it is at home, in your office, or on your phone. Wherever you are, I challenge you to internalize three things that are good today, as you are, no matter how big or small. Two for me are writing this post and knowing that some of you are reading it. Thank you for being you and for being part of this cozy community. Cheers to all that 2026 has in store for us, the ups, the downs, the learning moments, the successes, and the failures to balance them out and make the good moments really shine. Wherever you are and whatever you do, I hope you are living well. Thanks for reading!
This December, when our taxi turned onto Rue des CarriΓ¨res, the reality of where we’d be spending the next few nights finally started to sink in and I could feel a little smile lifting my cheeks automatically. Fairmont Le ChΓ’teau Frontenac towered above and all around us with its collection of towers, gables, dormers, and turrets. We hurried across the snow and slush-coated road to reach the covered, revolving doors that would lead us out of the biting winter chill and into the hotel’s inviting lobby.
As a little girl, I wasn’t above dreaming of becoming a princess one day, despite my overall lack of grace, responsibility, and fashion sense at the time, but let’s just say that walking into the lobby of Le ChΓ’teau Frontenac felt about as close to a real deal princess experience as a regular girl from New Jersey could hope to stumble upon.
We checked in with the help of the welcoming hotel staff and afterwards, waited by the gilded elevator doors to head up to our room on the 10th floor. Our room was pleasantly appointed and more than decent in size, with a lovely view of the hotel’s westerly towers. There was a gift of chocolates, a bottle of Acqua Panna, and a little card on the desk to welcome us, upon our arrival. We felt grateful for the deal that we had gotten through our credit card that allowed this magical experience to become a reality. All the princess dust around me just kept on sparkling, mes amis, even if only I could sense it.
With a little time before our dinner reservation for the evening, we decided to bundle up to brave the below freezing temperatures for a stroll along the snow-covered Terrasse Dufferin. Stuffed in our layers and our snow boots, we wandered back outside. The packed-down snow on Terrasse Dufferin glimmered in the warm glow from the hotel’s up-lighting and the triple globe lamp posts that lined the promenade. We walked to the Au 1884 toboggan slides to get a glimpse of what our future had in store for us on this trip and turned back around to be greeted by a beautiful view of the hotel all lit up and a Terrasse Dufferin covered in snow, all to ourselves.
At the end of our delicious meal, we ordered La Buchette’s signature dessert, a cake designed to emulate McCain’s Deep’n Delicious Cake, a Canadian past-time that, according to our server, inspires a sense of nostalgia and childhood for many Canadians. The restaurant makes “Le BΓ»cheron” from scratch and even serves the cakes in specialty packaging that they designed in order to best pay homage to the original inspiration source and to evoke the nostalgic experience for customers of eating the cake straight out of the packaging, just as they might have eaten the McCain cakes at home in their youth.
We wandered through the snow-covered streets, past old, stone buildings, their windows adorned with piled evergreen boughs and glimmering ornaments here and there. Snow-flecked Christmas trees twinkled outside closed storefronts and residences, mesmerizing and magical with their lights. We turned a corner and caught our first glimpse of the beautiful Christmas trees in Place Royale, the spot where Samuel de Champlain is said to have founded the city in 1608. The square is surrounded by stone buildings and presided over by the picturesque Notre-Dame-des-Victoires Church. In the cold and the muffled crunch of snow beneath our boots, there was quiet and calm.
Breakfast at Le ChΓ’teau Frontenac’s Place Dufferin
I think I will spend the rest of my life dreaming about the crΓͺpes with butterscotch sauce that I indulged in each morning at the Place Dufferin breakfast buffet, a service included with our stay. I am not sure if this is a service included for all guests of Le ChΓ’teau Frontenac or if it was simply part of the package that we got through our credit card, but I will admit that it only added to my sense of princess-y-ness and I may never be quite the same again. Please accept my apologies for this and direct any annoyance towards the crΓͺpes, themselves.
All I thought I’d eat before Mike let me try his crΓͺpes…
Breakfast was delicious each morning and it’s very possible that we both came home a little heavier than we would have liked to be, but somethings in life are worth bending the rules for and when there are croissants and those magical dream crΓͺpes on the table, there’s no telling what a not-princess might do.
The Place Dufferin restaurant overlooked Tarrasse Dufferin and happened to be the restaurant that we had seen through the windows of on our first trip, back in 2022. I enjoyed sipping my tea and savoring my magical crΓͺpes while watching the passerby, all bundled up in their winter layers, as they drifted in and out of our view. I wondered if any of them were thinking, maybe next time.
Ice Skating in Place D’Youville
Mike and I took up ice skating as a hobby last winter. It was an activity we had enjoyed while living in New York and we invested in some new skates last year to marginally improve our limited skills in more comfort. I missed my Jackson Ultima Mystiques as soon as I slipped my feet into the rental skates at the Place D’Youville’s skate shop, but the rentals would simply have to do.
As we skated around the rink, snow drifted down in heavy, wet flakes and collected upon the surface of the ice. A Christmas playlist serenaded us through the rink’s speakers, projecting familiar melodies, the songs alternating between English and French. The backdrop of the old city wall and the closed stalls of the Christmas Market in the park enhanced the cozy, festive ambiance.
Q-de-Sac Resto Pub
Inside, Q-de-Sac Resto Pub looked nothing like it had on our last visit. The place had been a bit modernized and no longer had the same cozy decor and ambiance that I had remembered and been expecting prior to walking in. That’s on me, so no fault to them, of course. We shared an onion soup and a stracciatella pizza, both of which were delicious and the service was friendly and fast. Afterwards, we headed back to Pub L’Oncle Antoine again to satisfy my craving for ultra-cozy surrounds.
Q de Sac Resto Pub
Terrasse Dufferin & Au 1884 Toboggans
The next morning, we caught some of the sunrise from Terrasse Dufferin. The ice floes in the river were plentiful and the ferries would have to carve their way through them later in the day. The ChΓ’teau beamed in the morning light and my stomach was already rumbling for breakfast and from nerves at the sight of the toboggan track that stretched out along the terrace.
My nerves kicked into high gear the moment I nestled into the toboggan at the top of the sled run. As instructed by the Au 1884 staff, my boots were wedged into the front curve of the sled, my knees splayed out to the sides like a frog’s- but, very graceful and princess-like; I knowπ. Mike sat behind me and held onto me tight, his boots balanced on top of my knees, as instructed. There may have been many an “Eep!” uttered at this point as I looked down from the top of the track.
“Vous Γͺtes tous prΓͺts?” said the staff member at the top of the toboggan run, “Are you all ready?”
“Eep!“
“Un. Deux. Trois! Have fuuuun!“
And just like that we were off, sliding down our lane much faster than it had appeared from our earlier recon mission. It was scary and fast and lasted longer than I expected it to, but it was also a thrill and tons of fun!
With a late dinner reservation at a nearby restaurant and a credit to use at our hotel that was part of our reservation package, we decided to pay a visit to Le ChΓ’teau Frontenac’s 1608 Bar. We checked in with the host and waited to be seated at the bar, a spectacle of a tower set inside a circular bar within library-like environs. I ordered a Jameson Old Fashioned and Mike ordered something called 1943, a scotch-based cocktail similar to an Old Fashioned, but with hints of smoked cinnamon and cinnamon-anise. Yum!
Bello Ristorante
For our final dinner of our trip, we decided on Bello Ristorante. We were seated at the bar with complimentary prosecco, as our table was not yet ready, and we were happy to remain there and let the host know we would. As with all of our other culinary experiences in this magical city, Bello did not fail to impress. I ordered some red wine and we shared a Caesar salad. I opted for the half portion of Linguini al Pesto for my meal and was so content there eating my pasta in the glow of the warm, pizza oven, sipping my wine, and talking to Mike that I forgot to take any pictures. You’ll just have to try it for yourselves someday, I guess! π
Polyester, wool, and down or down-alternative products are great materials for keeping you warm and dry in cold, snowy conditions. Pair these with accessories like a wool hat, waterproof gloves or mittens, and wool socks, and you’ll be comfortable despite harsh winter conditions.
Happy New Year!
Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this post as well as my other posts from this year! I wish you all a very Happy New Year full of health, joy, fulfillment, and peace. Always remember, it is enough to be you without bells and whistles. Success appears in different ways to different people and I think that was a big learn for me this year. Be good, be kind, be happy if you can and know that you deserve that whether you accomplished your 2025 goals or not! Sending love and positivity your way as we close out this holiday season! Thanks again, all!π
It’s December, friends. Can you believe it? The last month of our exhilarating year of adventure is here before I’m ready for it. There’s frost on the leaves on the steps outside and festive lights twinkle throughout our little corner of the world. Our November trip has come and gone, our farthest reaching destination this year, and we’re eleven down, one to go. It’s all gone by so fast. But I’m getting ahead of myself. The reminiscing on it all will come later this month or perhaps early next year. For now, there are green hills, rugged mountains, valley vistas, coastal cliff views, and pints of black stuff to discuss.
Howth
We landed at Dublin airport having each managed about two hours of sleep on our six hour red eye from Newark. We breezed through immigration and were soon off to pick up our little rental car to hit the Irish roads. The first destination in our sights was the seaside village of Howth, just outside of Dublin city. Mike was quick to reacquaint himself with the right side of the car/left side of the road situation and we were navigating our first of many roundabouts and tight left-turns in no time.
The colorful fishing village of Howth, nestled along the coast of the Irish Sea, is an idyllic, manageable daytrip from bustling Dublin city. Accessible by car or a short train ride from Dublin via DART service, this makes for a great destination for those traveling to the Dublin area with limited time who would like to get a broader sense of what this beautiful country has to offer outside the limits of its largest city. For us, Howth was reminiscent of some of the towns we have visited in the west of Ireland without the 2.5+ hour drive to get there from Dublin.
With limited daylight (and sleep), we set our sights on doing some of the Howth Cliff Path Loop to take in the stunning views of the sea and the cliffs along the coastline. On a sunny, Saturday afternoon, it was easy to follow the like-minded crowd of scenery-seekers to the start of the trail and after a bit of a climb, we were perched upon the side of the cliffs on a dirt trail that wound past the gorse, the heather, and the green high above the crashing waves.
About forty-five minutes into our hike, we decided to turn around, wanting to have time for a quick lunch before hitting the road to our next stop, in hopes we could reach it before dark. Racing the daylight was certainly a challenge on this trip versus our previous summertime trips to Ireland. We ordered some takeaway fish and chips from Beshoff Bros to share and enjoyed them as the clouds began to roll in over the harbor.
Kilkenny
Our drive from Howth to Kilkenny felt long and arduous as we raced our waning energy, though in actuality it took less than two hours from Howth harbor to the door of our hotel.
Kilkenny (the next morning)
Driving through the Kilkenny town center was a welcome reprieve for our heavy eyelids and we wound our way through the town to our lodging for the next two nights, Pembroke Hotel Kilkenny. We checked in and parked in the designated lot a few blocks away then took in the view of Kilkenny Castle and the Kilkenny Arts building from our room’s large window for the briefest of moments before settling in for a must-needed, strategic nap to try to “get on Ireland time”. The grogginess we felt after our ninety minute nap was a familiar sensation that we have experienced on every one of our Ireland trips. It’s just a necessary evil, we have learned, to help make the most of a short vacation. We begrudgingly willed ourselves to get out of bed and head out for a bite to eat and a pint.
Sullivan’s Taproom fit the bill for what I was feeling to escape the damp chill of November in Ireland. Inside, the taproom was warm and decorated for Christmas. Every table inside, but one, was taken so we claimed that last as ours, shrugged out of our jackets, and settled in. The place was packed with fans who were zoned in on a rugby match between Ireland and South Africa. We sat on the outskirts of it all near the kitchen pass-through and perused the menu. We ordered a margherita pizza to share and I opted for a red ale on rotation, while Mike went for a pale ale. The atmosphere was festive and excited and it was a great way to wake up a bit from our jet-lagged stupor.
Our next stop for the night was The Dylan Whiskey Bar for some after-dinner cocktails. The place was pretty empty when we arrived on that Saturday evening, but filled out over the couple of hours that we spent there. I ordered a Jameson Triple-Triple old fashioned to start, followed by my first true pint of the trip and the memories flooded back of how Guinness just tastes better in Ireland. We decided it’s both a texture thing and a color thing. The foam is creamier and smoother than back home and when the light hits it just right, rubies glimmer at the bottom of the glass.
Cahir
We checked the forecast Sunday morning before heading to our first stop for the day, a medieval town about an hour west of Kilkenny called Cahir. Discouraged by the rain that had accompanied much of our drive, despite one rainbow sighting, we pulled into the public lot next to Cahir Castle and checked the forecast again to see if the rain would stop soon. According to Google Weather, it wasn’t supposed to rain in Kilkenny all day (but it had already rained on us that morning), it wasn’t supposed to rain in Cashel (though it would be raining when we got there later), and it was certainly raining in Cahir. We changed into our waterproof hiking boots, zipped up our waterproof jackets, and grabbed our umbrellas because in Ireland, there is no bad weather, only bad clothes.
Cahir Castle did not offer the shelter from the rain and chill that I, for no logic-based reason, imagined it would. Still, umbrellas up, we wandered the walled, green grounds and stone courtyards and ducked into the medieval banquet hall which was heated to 7Β°C (44.7Β°F). We climbed stairways that wound up to sparse, wooden floors with whitewashed stone walls and skimmed information boards on the Easter Rising and the history of Medieval women’s dress and customs, stealing long glances through the deep, paned windows at the colorful street outside.
We did a short exploration of the town on foot due to the wet conditions before driving through the streets and on to our next stop, Cashel, in hopes of escaping the rain.
Cashel
“It’s not raining in Cashel,” I said, remembering the lack of raindrops forecast on Google Weather for this next little medieval town of the day.
“It’s not raining in Cashel,” echoed Mike.
But, of course, it was.
We climbed from the parking lot up the hill to the Rock of Cashel historic site, our umbrellas tested by strong winds and rain. We purchased our tickets and hurried inside the impressive cathedral ruins to escape the wind, though it was quite the wind tunnel inside anyway. There were people huddled close to the stone walls, trying to evade the wind’s reach as they waited for their tour to begin. I couldn’t help but laugh as I heard a teenaged, American boy voice his opinion.
“Why are we DOING this?!” he shouted against the wind.
Rock of Cashel, 13th Century Cathedral Ruins
Valid question, I thought, ready to leave as well. We hastily wandered the ruins, pausing at the gravesites only briefly and taking in as much of the sprawling view of the countryside from the top of the hill as we could in only a few moments. It would have been a beautiful spot to linger and really take in the view of the rolling hills and farms on a warm, sunny day, but a warm, sunny day, it was not, my friends. It was November in Ireland.
Mike proposed we find somewhere to get out of the cold for a while and we settled on a place for lunch on the recommendation of a barkeep who informed us the kitchen was closed at our first choice restaurant. The barkeep guided us to Bailey’s Hotel Cellar Bar & Restaurant and it ended up being a very welcome, cozy suggestion.
As we enjoyed pints of Smithwick’s and waited for our lunch to arrive, we scrolled through my pictures from our visit to the Rock of Cashel. Mike said, “Funny. No one would look at these and think there was actually a hurricane up there.”
Kilkenny(cont’d)
We reached Kilkenny again before dark and took some time to warm up, rest, and take in the view of Kilkenny Castle from our room before heading back out to dinner. We decided on Matt The Millers Bar & Restaurant for some traditional Irish fare and music. I ordered Guinness beef stew with brown bread and Mike opted for the seafood chowder with brown bread and both were excellent, hearty, and blissfully warm. We sipped our pints of Guinness and listened as the live performers sang familiar songs like Van Morrison’s Brown Eyed Girl and The Cranberries’ Zombie amongst a wider selection of more traditional Irish songs. We ended our evening back at The Dylan Whiskey Bar, much quieter on a cold Sunday night than on the previous night. Still, the whiskey was warm and smooth and the surrounds cozy and pleasant. This spot was worth two visits.
Kilkenny Castle & Kilkenny Arts building, earlier that morning
The Wicklow Mountains
In researching for this trip, one place in particular kept coming up as a suggestion for places to visit near Dublin. Glendalough. (Pronounced Glenda-luck) In all my planning for Glendalough though between what trail to hike, where to park, and where to get lunch afterwards, there was one thing I hadn’t planned on for our visit and that was me behind the wheel of our little rental car from Kilkenny to the Upper Lake parking lot.
This was my first time driving on the “wrong” side of the car and the “wrong” side of the road and boy oh boy did it feel a little harrowing at times. Irish country roads are teeny tiny- think a one lane road in the US or better yet, two bike lanes smushed together and hey presto! you have yourself an Irish country road.
I’ve learned that driving in Ireland, sometimes you just have to throw your side-view mirror into the bushes or chance the solidity of the “soft shoulder” (just grass and mud), if you’re so lucky to have a shoulder available at all, that is. Irish drivers have a level of confidence or recklessness that I can only aspire to. I wasn’t as sheepish as the painted, white, fluffballs grazing in the pastures and hills along the sides of our route, but let’s just say I was happy to arrive at the Glendalough car park only having run over one curb with my front left tire.
We changed into our hiking boots and hit the trail, opting for The Spinc Walk Blue Route as an out an back to the summit viewpoint rather than as a loop. The trail guided us past the Lower Lake and through a pretty wood of evergreens. This wasn’t the Ireland we had seen before on our previous trips. This was wild and towering and rugged. We loved it. We followed the path up the mountain and out of the trees, through heather and grass and dirt and mud, soaking nature into the soles of our boots to mingle there with that from our previous adventures this year.
After not too long, we were rewarded with views of the Upper Lake and the vista looking further below and beyond past the valley. This place was a beauty, a highlight that made me question why people say to see the true Ireland you need to go to the west. I agree you should definitely go to the west if you’ve only time for one trip to Ireland in your lifetime, but I am going to throw the suggestion out there to make this place a priority as well.
For lunch, we went to a beautiful, cozy restaurant in the village of Laragh called Wicklow Heather Restaurant. The whole place was twinkling with the soft white glow of fairy lights. There was antique, copper crockery suspended from beams and hooks in the ceiling. Vintage portraits and artwork climbed the walls and looked down upon it all from the wooden eaves, and gothic paned windows looked out on the road. Mike ordered a Guinness and an open faced slow roasted ham and smoked applewood cheese sandwich while I went for potato, cauliflower, and coconut curry and a cup of tea.
We made our way towards Dublin after our meal, racing the daylight once again as we marveled at the breathtaking, wild scenery that surrounded us on our drive through the mountain pass called Sally Gap. If you are visiting Ireland as a tourist, I recommend doing this drive with a tour company rather than driving it yourself, as the road through the mountains is very isolated and cell phone service is minimal. We made a stop at Lough Tay, also known as Guinness Lake before heading back towards Dublin, both of us a little anxious for views of civilization.
Dublin
Inching along the narrow, Dublin city streets that evening was enough driving in Dublin for us, at least until we needed to head to the airport a couple days later, and once we parked our car in the garage around the corner from our hotel, we decided we’d try out the DART service if we planned to go outside the city the next day. Our check-in at the Drury Court Hotel was warm and welcoming. The people working at the front desk were friendly and efficient. They asked had we been to Dublin previously and what our plans were for our time in the city.
“Yes!” we said with the smiles that accompany the memories of previous vacations to Ireland, “I think we’ll try The Winding Stair for dinner and maybe head to Dalkey tomorrow.”
“That’s lovely,” said the front desk agent with a smile.
The agent reminded us that European hotels do not customarily have top sheets or washcloths, but that there was a shelf stocked with washcloths in the lobby, if needed. Our experience with the Drury Court Hotel was very pleasant and helpful and the location was central to lots of sights, pubs, and attractions. I would recommend this hotel to friends or family looking to visit Dublin.
For dinner, we bundled up and headed out into the cold, damp night, weaving our way through The Temple Bar District towards the River Liffey. We climbed the winding steps for which The Winding Stair restaurant is named (along with inspiration from a poem by W.B. Yeats) and hoped there would be space for us as we did not have a reservation. Lucky for us, there were a few tables available and we were seated immediately. The atmosphere of the restaurant was cozy with tall ceilings and low lighting and the warm scents of spices and sauces coming from the open kitchen were mouthwatering. I ordered a pan-seared trout with parsnip puree, leeks, and capers and savored every bite, choosing to accompany my meal with a glass of red wine to wash it all down with.
After dinner, we walked to The Long Hall, one of Dublin’s oldest pubs which happened to also be conveniently situated around the corner from our hotel. The pub had a cozy, Victorian charm to it with red carpeting, red ceilings, red furnishings, dark wood architectural accents, and elegant light fixtures. I also read somewhere that The Long Hall is Bruce Springsteen’s favorite pub in Dublin and Mike and I enjoyed following in a fellow New Jerseyan’s footsteps by visiting. We sat at the end of the long bar and sipped our pints of Guinness slowly while reminiscing on the day’s activities and drives.
Dun Laoghaire & Dalkey
The next morning, we walked to the Tara Street DART station to catch a train to Dun Laoghaire (pronounced Dun Leary) and then on to Dalkey from there. The trains were frequent and affordable at β¬2.60 for a one way for each of us. If you are going to be staying in the area for longer, you may want to invest in a LEAP card to save further on the train fare.
Dun Laoghaire is a bustling harbor town about twenty minutes outside of Dublin by train. We walked the length of the East Pier, taking in views of the Irish Sea and the peninsula of Howth in the distance, remembering our visit there a few days prior. The walk was pleasant and we were happy to hear all the Irish accents around us as locals walked the pier for recreation and leisure.
Dun Laoghaire East Pier
One thing about Dublin city that you might not expect as a tourist is that you might hear a lot more foreign languages than English or English spoken with the pleasant Irish accents as it is such a multicultural place with visitors and locals from all over the world. This will be particularly so, if you are staying in the touristy areas in the center of the city. If you’d like to experience more local dialects and accents or even the Irish language, take the train outside of Dublin to some of the other coastal towns or drive to some of the other counties in this beautiful country. If you head to any of the country’s Gaeltacht areas, such as counties Donegal, Mayo, Galway, Kerry, Cork, Waterford, or Meath, you will probably also catch some locals speaking in Irish.
We hopped back on the DART for just a few stops and got off in Dalkey. This town was on my must-see list of places for this trip as it was home to one of my favorite authors and role models, Maeve Binchy. Going to the town where Maeve lived might not be everyone’s idea of a good time, but it was important to me. I would not be the reader or the writer that I am today without Maeve Binchy and her talent for story-telling and conveying her understanding of people as flawed, dynamic beings in need of community and purpose. When I read Maeve Binchy, I never fail to find a character with whom I can relate and I am grateful to her for that sense of representation, alone. She has helped me to feel ok at times when I didn’t feel so ok and she has put a smile on my face with her words more times than I can count. It felt good to be standing where she might have stood once, or perhaps even many times, before.
We headed into Finnegan’s in search of lunch, but the place was full and we were told it might be a while so we crossed the street to have a look around The Gutter Bookshop. I perused the Maeve Binchy titles on the shelves and picked out one I hadn’t read before, A Week in Winter, and purchased it as a souvenir. (I am most of the way through it and can recommend.) I was also interested to see that The Gutter Bookshop had a couple of shelves in their children’s section designated to Irish translations of children’s books to facilitate children’s learning the language from a young age.
Back to Finnegan’s it was for us after our little shopping excursion and it was only a little while before two seats opened up at the bar and we were seated. Mike ordered fish and chips and a Wicklow Wolf pale ale and I ordered cottage pie and a Guinness. Everything was delicious and it was pleasant to listen to the pretty Irish accents chatting all around us, the breathy, soft T punctuating the ends of sentences in that questioning Irish way, “Is it?”
Dublin (cont’d)
From our previous trip to Dublin, ten years ago, I remembered one of my favorite activities had been walking around the Trinity College campus. We headed into Trinity’s campus and were surprised to see that a winter convocation ceremony must have just let out as many graduates were dressed in robes and mortarboard caps, taking photos with friends and family. We did a quick loop around the central square of the campus to take in the architecture and headed on towards our next stop, Ireland’s oldest pub.
The Brazen Head, est. 1198, was a bit of a walk from Trinity, but once we got inside, it was pleasant, cozy, and very festively decorated. We snagged two seats at the bar and Mike ordered a Guinness and turned to me.
“Can I do a Half & Half?” I said to the bartender.
“No,” he said.
“A Guinness with Harp?” I said. Maybe I should really just stop trying to order this anywhere.
“No,” he said again, “I’ll tell you why. Our Guinness is too good here. It doesn’t settle. Here, I’ll show you.”
He poured a little Harp in a glass and topped it with Guinness and the whole thing was just a tan, foamy mess. No, indeed then, I thought.
“Weird,” I said, “Just a Guinness, then.”
As we enjoyed our pints, a couple came in and ordered at the bar.
“We’re in Dublin for one hour,” said the man, “We asked our driver where to go if we only have one hour in Dublin and he said here.”
In my memory, they asked the bartender for “the most Irish beer”.
The bartender said, “My selection?”
With a nod from the customer, he poured, to my surprise, not from the Guinness tap, but from the Brazen Head Red Ale tap. The man seemed happy enough.
After some time spent at our hotel to rest and warm up a bit, we bundled back up and walked south along Camden Street into the Portobello neighborhood. I read that Portobello has a great food scene and looked up an Indian restaurant there called Pickle that we were eager to try. We didn’t have a reservation for Pickle, but were seated immediately. I have read that reservations are recommended for this restaurant and it did fill out a bit while we were there, so just plan ahead if you ever decide to visit, yourself.
This dining experience was the culinary highlight of our trip. Granted, we love Indian food, but still, the flavors were out of this world and the ingredients were fresh and locally sourced. The portions were big and the food was hearty and delicious. If you’re ever in Dublin and you like spicy food, just do your tastebuds a favor and go.
To finish up our trip, we decided to visit a couple more pubs. Our first pub stop of the night was The Landmark where there was a very talented musician performing live music. We had only intended to get one pint there, but stayed a little longer since the performer was so good and the place was so comfortable and cozy.
For the last stop of the night, we walked to The Swan Bar. I could tell from outside that the place would be nice and toasty within as the windows were clouded over with steam. We shrugged out of our jackets and nestled ourselves onto two bar stools. We ordered our pints from a friendly, bearded man who could have passed for Santa Claus if he wanted to (though he actually mentioned to one of the other bartenders later on that he’d had an audition for a Santa job earlier that day and didn’t get it.) We sat and we sipped and Mike looked up pronunciation guides for words in Irish that made my head spin a little. The world outside was cold in a way that cut to the bone, but inside The Swan, the steam clouded the windows and we were sheltered and warm.
We wondered when we’d next be back to Ireland again.
Grafton Street Holiday Decorations
If there is one thing we have learned from our trips to Ireland, it is that there is a magic to the place that continues to draw our hearts and tug upon our memories, pulling us back again and again. One visit is not enough, nor two, nor three, or four in Mike’s case. Perhaps this post will inspire some of you to read up on an Emerald Isle adventure of your own or to pick up a Maeve Binchy book and escape into the inviting pages, or to order a pint of Guinness next time you are out. If so, I hope you enjoy every minute, every page, every sip. Thanks for reading, all. Be well.
October is one of my favorite months. It is never long enough, in my opinion, despite having thirty-one days. Happy Halloween, by the way π! My birthday is in October and I officially turned the corner onto 34th Street this year. Maybe this will be a year for miracles. If so, I wonder what.
I have always loved the color and the crispiness we get here in the northeast during October, the briskness that’s not quite cold, the crunchy leaves underfoot, the spooky decorations haunting lawns and peering out of windows, and the general sense of festivity in the air. The holidays are upon us once more and soon it will be cold for real. October is for adjusting to the change in temperature, for settling in, for balancing the remaining sunny, warm afternoons with the early, chilly nights. October is nesting season. Usually, at least.
This October, we spent many of our weekends traveling up to New England. From Massachusetts to Rhode Island to Maine to New Hampshire, we earned new landmarks on the Merritt Parkway, 84, and 495. We learned what routes we preferred and which we didn’t between the options accessible by the GW Bridge and the new Tappan Zee and bypassed towns we planned to visit, but have still never really seen (cough– Hartford), in the spirit of making a greater dent in our journey onwards or home.
MOBA
Back in the summer of 2022, while on a trip in Quebec City, we saw promotional banners for a visiting exhibition of something called “MOBA”. MOBA, we learned, is an acronym that stands for The Museum of Bad Art. I remember sitting in the lobby of L’Observatoire de la Capitale scrolling MOBA’s Facebook page and trying to contain my snickering as we waited out a rainstorm. We looked up where the museum was and learned it was housed inside Dorchester Brewing Company in Dorchester, MA. We did not make it to the traveling exhibition in Quebec on that trip, but regretted it and planned to pay a visit to Massachusetts in the future to peruse the collection.
Poster for the 2021 MOBA Exhibit in Quebec City, on Display at Dorchester Brewing
Fast forward to earlier this October when we pulled into the parking lot of Dorchester Brewing Co. It looked like your standard brewery tasting room from the outside, with the added bonus of upstairs, outdoor seating where patrons were enjoying some sunshine and brews. I still did not know exactly what to expect once we got inside. How prominently would the bad art be displayed? Had this pilgrimage to the industrial outskirts of Boston been worth the journey and the years spent building the place and the concept of its hilarity up in our minds?
In a word? Yes.
We ordered a beer flight from the bar once we got inside. As we waited for our beers, I could already see some masterpieces peeking out from the walls and the stairwell beyond. I was excited to read the little descriptions beside each piece, detailing how they were acquired by the museum.
Before perusing the collection, we enjoyed our drinks en plein air in the brewery’s outdoor tasting area, with a view of Boston. The bartenders came around and let us know that the area would soon be closing for a private event, so we made our way inside and got to spectating. We started in the stairwell and studied pieces such as Playing With Mommy’s Shoes, Fat Cat, and George and Jackie.
Downstairs, we delved deeper into the hallowed halls of Dorchester Brewing Co.’s priceless collection. Sure, you may have studied Leonardo da Vinci’s Mona Lisa. You may have even marveled at Michelangelo’s famed Sistine Chapel ceiling in person; I certainly have. But I ask you, have you really lived if you have not come face to face with the frazzled muse forever captured in the mesmerizing Night in Crestwood? I think not, my friends. I think not.
We savored the weird and the over-valued on display, exactly the right clientele for this sort of establishment. We laughed at captions such as that for Baby Aladdin which stated that the piece was donated to the collection by someone who had found it in her apartment closet and for A Bird in the Hand which was purchased at a thrift store for $3, though the price on the back of the piece said $700 . In many ways, I enjoyed this museum a lot more than other museums I have visited. There’s a place and an audience for everything, I suppose. We were the audience for this place.
Casco Bay
If someone had told me last Saturday morning that I would eat my first oysters raw, fresh from an oyster farm in the Casco Bay and drive a boat for the first time on the same day– that day, in fact, I would not have believed them. While I usually like new things that I try, I err on the side of hesitancy in trying them. Still, I have some caged brevity that gets me to say a questioning “Yes?” to things that the rest of my brain is like, I don’t know; are you sure? In the words of Mike Birbiglia, “Why would I slide down the slide when I can walk down the steps?”
We clamped onto Stephen’s oyster farm in the Casco Bay and ate our lunch surrounded by the sparkling water and the multi-colored trees on the shores all around. The sky was a little overcast and the breeze carried on it a chill that nipped at our cheeks and noses. After lunch, Stephen proposed an unconventional dessert option.
“Anybody want to try an oyster?”
“No; that’s ok,” I said.
I don’t know about anybody else, but when I hear myself saying no to trying something new, it sparks an internal conflict spurred by something like disappointment. Live, says the little voice in my head.
“Actually,” I said, “I changed my mind!”
Stephen hauled an oyster basket from the bay into the back of the boat. As a rule, I don’t eat raw seafood, but this seemed like a right place, right time sort of situation and Stephen has the kind of enthusiasm for his hobbies and business endeavors that is a bit contagious. Stephen selected oysters from the basket for each of us to try and shucked them with a knife on the boat, right there in front of us. Mike explained how to eat oysters to me as I waited for everyone to have a shucked oyster in hand. We toasted with our shells and tossed back the muscles. Chewing on an oyster muscle was a completely new sensation for me. It was different than I expected it would be, never having tried one before, not slimy or gristly like I expected, but rather salty and smooth.
“What did you think?” said the others.
“It’s not what I thought it would be like,” I said, “I think I like it.”
“Want another one?” said Stephen.
“Ok!”
A while later, after exploring the bay with our enthusiastic, local guides, Stephen asked if I wanted to drive us home.
“Captain Beth?” he said.
“That’s ok,” I said.
“It’s really hard to crash the boat,” said Erika.
Oh c’mon, said the voice, Live.
“Ok. I’ll try it.”
I got behind the wheel and played Erika’s words over in my head as Stephen showed me how to bring the boat to a plane. Eep! Too fast! It took a little while to feel more comfortable with the throttle and soon I was steering somewhat comfortably as Stephen navigated the depth-finder, pointing out the reds and the greens to look out for in the distance.
Migis Lodge
I never went to sleepaway camp as a kid, but I had the pleasure of “going away to camp” this past weekend while we were up in Maine for our friends’ wedding. My own experience of camp up until last weekend was day camp. I went to day camps as a kid. I worked at a day camp right out of high school. I even met Mike while we were both summer camp counselors. In this particular way, in my own experience, camp and romance go together. So, really, what better venue for a wedding?
Migis Lodge is a beautiful camp-style event venue and hotel situated on the northeast shore of Sebago Lake in South Casco, ME. Our friends designated a few of the guests to be camp counselors and had them styled Γ la Michael Ian Black in Wet Hot American Summer to greet and announce the arrival of the “campers” to the property as we all waited for our cabins to be ready. We noshed on some lunch of sandwiches and cold salads while our hilariously dressed friend, Kay, abused the power of her little megaphone just the right amount.
Though Migis Lodge is definitely more of a camp for adults, it still tickled my sense of nostalgia spurred by movies I grew up with like The Parent Trap, Heavyweights, and Troop Beverley Hills. I was finally at sleepaway camp with my friends and our friends were getting married! Yay! The weather was only residually damp and a little chilly, but altogether pretty nice and we were in a really beautiful place. What more could you want out of a weekend? The seven plus hour drive from New Jersey was beyond worth it for this destination, wedding aside.
We’re back home in New Jersey for this beautiful Halloween, the calm after a surprisingly impactful storm yesterday that brought flooding, downed trees, power outages, and all-around traffic mayhem to our area. Today, there’s peace, a turquoise Atlantic, and a cerulean river. The sun is shining and there are clouds in the sky that would be worthy of adorning Andy’s bedroom walls in Toy Story. A speedboat planes on the waves, parallel to the shore, trailing a white tail in its wake and I am typing the last few words of this post with a fresh cup of tea in my very near future.
This October’s been one for the books and I’m looking forward to our next far-reaching adventure in November. In the meantime, I wish you all a happy Halloween! Have fun, be safe, and live well. Thanks for reading!
Hello, dear readers, dear friends. It’s been a little while since I’ve written here and I thought I’d draft a snippet of a picture for you all of a cozy, little morning on this stormy, October day. I invite you to bundle up in a big, comfy sweatshirt or a warm sweater and imagine yourselves drinking something rising with swirls of steam that warm your cheeks, the ceramic of your mug pleasantly hot against your palms and fingers as you join me on the big, blue couch. Help yourself to a squashy pillow for your back or a warm throw for your lap. Kick off those shoes, put your feet up, and get yourselves nice and comfy.
The wind howls outside and the waves of the Atlantic are churned, abundant with choppy white. The branches of the trees dance, the fragile leaves rustle, and the seagrass bows with the occasional strong gust. The bones of our home creak with each brace against the elements, sheltering us well from the storm as we look on from our perch, set high in the hill.
Inside, the lamps are glowing, casting little pools of gold in the corners of the room. The curtains are open to take in the view of the gray, blustery day outside- a Nor’Easter, in fact, a storm not bad enough to have a name, but a storm no less.
I taste the faint hint of orange peel in my tea and savor the lingering warmth from a hearty breakfast of steel cut oats with peanut butter and maple syrup. Soon it’ll be time to reheat the kettle. Would you care for a cup? Tea, hot cocoa, coffee perhaps? How do you take it? Milk? Sugar? Cinnamon?
Today calls for reading, don’t you think, something inviting and adventurous. I’ll pick a book or maybe two from the wooden shelf stocked with favorite reads, family photos, handmade pumpkins, and the little, wooden chess board that my dad made. Where shall we venture today, friends? I’m favoring a visit to the Burrow, myself, I think. I slide Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets off the shelf and flip to page 32 for a healthy little dose of cozy.
I’m a skip ahead-er when it comes to my favorites, finding the scenes that evoke a sense of comfort for me. Any other skip ahead-ers here with me on the big blue couch this morning? What are you reading today? Where are you off to in the imaginary world? Who are you off to see? To meet?
The rain drip, drip, drips from the door overhang outside and the neighbor’s coffee pot bubbles next door. I still miss the sound in my own kitchen some days.
I imagine the deer, who often visit, sheltered from the wind this morning, huddled and warm somewhere beneath a colorful arbor of branches, enjoying a breakfast feast of lingering greenery and late blooming flowers, undisturbed by people.
I’m headed to the Shire next to savor some peaceful nature, myself. It feels like a good time to pay another visit to a merry band of sweet, brave hobbits I’m acquainted with as they embark on an adventure that I’m absolutely certain will be bigger than four little hobbits could ever possibly anticipate, while somehow being just the right size, all the same.
You are welcome to linger as long as you like. Don’t mind me. I’ll just be nestled over here in the crook of the long, cozy seat of the big, blue couch with some squashy pillows for company, wandering another world for little whiles at a time.
While looking through the photos stored on my phone the other day, I came across the picture that sparked my weight loss journey back in June of 2024. I spent a few minutes looking at the person on my screen, the girl frozen in time in front of Buckingham Fountain in Chicago’s Grant Park on a sunny day in June. She didn’t know it then, but her life was about to change.
In the days after we got home from Chicago, that picture in front of Buckingham Fountain was like a magnet for my attention. After a youth and much of my adulthood spent comparing my own size to that of others, I had at least learned the toxicity in that practice, but what about comparing myself to myself? The girl in the picture was a size I had never before associated with me. Still, I took the image at its face value. That’s what I look like now, I thought, that’s me.
Oddly enough, as someone who struggled constantly with weight and body image, I didn’t dislike the picture. The fountain was beautiful and I was happy to have documented my being there and to reflect on my memories of our trip to Chicago. Now, was I over the moon about how I looked in the picture? I was not, my friends, but what’s the use in worrying too much over something you can’t change, right? Hmm…
I don’t know at what point after that the mysterious magic began to sparkle in my brain, but begin it did.
How do skinny people do it?
Why am I always hungry?
Am I actually always hungry?
These were the new questions in my head that day in June that sparked the experiment that has led to my fifty pound weight loss and many successful, comfortable months of maintenance.
I was convinced before starting this journey that there was something different about my brain that prevented me from being able to lose weight and to maintain weight loss. I had tried Weight Watchers multiple times in the past with success while on the program, only to have no idea what I was doing when it came to understanding healthy eating, portion sizes, hydration, and proper nutrition balance as soon as I stopped paying for the subscription. That’s how they getcha, I guess. I even wondered if I had a food addiction that resulted in me eating too much at every meal, causing me to experience discomfort and even physical pain for a majority of the days of each week. I was afraid I couldn’t change. I was afraid any changes I made wouldn’t last long. I was afraid. Period.
From where I am now, reflecting on my start in all this, I recognize the damage that inflating your fears can have on starting out on a weight loss journey or any monumental task, for that matter. If you’re too afraid to start, you won’t start. If you’re dismissive of your own ability to learn, you won’t learn. I pretended my fears were facts at the time. I blamed my brain for always “making me feel hungry”, not taking the time to figure out why that was. I decided that day, looking at that picture, that I didn’t care if it would be hard or uncomfortable. In fact, I knew it would be. I just wanted to understand the answers to my questions and I wanted to be able to get to the bottom of them myself.
Getting started was uncomfortable and confusing; I won’t sugar coat it. It was anything but easy. Still, the discomfort and the sensation of being out of my depth when it came to understanding my hunger cues and adjusting my eating habits was well worth the learning process. If understanding your own body’s nutritional needs is something you strive for and have struggled with, I urge you not to let your fear of failure and discomfort stop you from starting on your own journey, even if you have started it many times before.
In the first few days, as I was just getting started, I really focused on trying to listen to my body, whatever that means, I told myself. I ate meals without distraction of my phone or the television. I searched the internet to learn more about how hunger pangs can manifest. I learned that thirst can present similarly to hunger pangs and found that to be a revelation in and of itself. I learned that my hunger pangs don’t usually present with a growling stomach as some people’s do, but rather with irritability, a headache, fatigue, or some combination of those.
Those first few days of the process, I worried that in order to keep up my new healthy habits long term, I would have to feel uncomfortable and hungry for forever. As the week wore on, however, the discomfort subsided gradually and the constant food noise quieted down to the point where I could ignore it by finding my dopamine hits in writing, watching a YouTube Video, reading a book, or having a glass of water, seltzer, or some tea.
After a couple of weeks, I was surprised at how little food my body actually needed to function comfortably versus the enormous amounts I had been consuming prior to getting started. I wondered if I was eating too little even, at one point, but reminded myself that I would be able to tell that by listening to my body and my brain- by paying attention to my food as I ate- the texture of it, the taste, the smell, the colors, by recognizing when I had satisfied my hunger pangs to the point where I could get through the next three to four hours comfortably. Through trial and error, I learned the magic of portion control, Goldilocksing my way to the sweet spot for my own satiety.
I took comfort in the fact that I didn’t have to count calories or track what I was consuming. I just used smaller plates and bowls that I already had that made it easier to eyeball portions that were the right size for me. I weighed myself on Thursday mornings every other week. It felt different from dieting I had done in the past, in that I was still eating pretty much all the foods that I regularly enjoyed. In the first month, I did my best to pay attention to which of those foods did a good job of satiating my hunger and which ones did not, which ones induced cravings that weren’t real hunger, and which ones actually made me hungrier, surprisingly enough. Cereal and chicken nuggets had to go for a while there, though I can eat them mindfully now.
After the first few days, my new eating habits started to feel more normal and natural. After a few weeks, I was noticing the first of many “non-scale victories”. I relished the fact that some of my common ailments such as heartburn, bloating, and stomachaches hadn’t plagued me since before starting my experiment. I opened my handbag and removed the little bottle of Tums that lived there because all it had been doing for weeks at that point was taking up space.
Was it really this simple this whole time, I thought? If so, why was it so hard to wrap my head around before?
It’s funny how simple some of the hardest things can be, how the littlest changes, when made consistently, can lead to huge differences. Now, don’t get me wrong. When I say “simple”, I don’t mean easy. For many, I have come to learn, learning proper nutrition habits, learning how to identify your true hunger cues, and understanding when you are what people call “full” can be like reading an instruction manual in a language you only understand a few words of.
Let’s talk about that word full for a minute. It is my strong opinion that this word is dangerously ambiguous. For example, my personal interpretation and understanding of the word full before beginning my weight loss journey was identical to the sensation of feeling overstuffed. I have since reframed this thinking to interpret that what, let’s call “naturally thin” people really mean when they say they feel full is that they simply recognize they are no longer hungry; their body has consumed the nutrients and energy it needs to get through the next three to four to however-many hours until their next meal. This was a monumental “light bulb” realization for me and has been really helpful in checking in with myself during both my weight loss and my maintenance stages, to the point where I have only reached that uncomfortable “overstuffed” sensation a handful of times in the past year.
For many months during my weight loss journey, I sought out motivation via a Reddit thread called “r/loseit”. A lot of posters in the thread were working on their goals to reach a healthy weight, to improve their mobility, and / or to reverse the negative health effects that can often accompany obesity. Some posters in the thread had goals of losing 100+ pounds. Some posters had already lost impressive amounts of weight and were successful long term in their maintenance. I found their posts so inspiring that I would pop into the thread and read the new posts daily and it would give me that little extra umph when I needed it from time to time.
In some of my daily visits to the r/loseit thread, I read stories of people who were raised to have a “clean plate mentality”, some posters even having been made to remain at the dinner table for hours as children, until they consumed every scrap of food on their plate, even if they were overstuffed, “Because there are starving children in Africa.” Does this sound familiar to anyone? Are you walking to the fridge right now? Are you opening your snack drawer? Was that a bag of chips I heard? Maybe just stop for a second and have a drink of water instead and know you have a friend in your corner on the other end of this post who wants you to know that you are a miracle. You are good enough. You are loved. Food is meant to nourish your body. It is not meant to be an emotional coping mechanism.
Stories such as the one mentioned above made me realize how much of an influence your learned eating habits from childhood can affect your relationship with food as an adult, not to mention your relationship between your eating habits and your emotions. If “cleaning your plate” prevented punishment as a child, I imagine it can be really hard to reshape your eating habits as an adult. I, thankfully, was not raised with negativity around food like that. Reading through the loseit thread, however, I learned that some people are fighting these really negative emotions and memories as they try to navigate nutrition and reduced portions. Sometimes feelings of sadness, boredom, loneliness, and inadequacy can signal as hunger which can be really confusing if you don’t have a handle on your true physical hunger cues. Despite this, those weight loss champions of Reddit are still losing. They can do it. They are doing it and that’s badass as hell. π
While physical conditions, illness, medication and age can all play roles in how difficult approaching weight loss can be, I am convinced that a lot of what leads to obesity is not these limitations, but rather the lack of understanding when it comes to the basics of nutrition and understanding your physical hunger cues versus your emotional hunger cues. For instance, in my Reddit visits, I learned that it is news to many finding out that drinks such as soda have calories. This always seemed like common sense to me, but I have learned that very few things actually fall under the realm of common sense. So much of our habits are learned. Parents have the job of passing on their habits to the next generation. It’s helpful when those habits are healthy, but unfortunately, that’s not always the case. Sometimes you have to ask yourself the tough questions. You have to pay attention. You have to learn, yourself, and guess what? You can do it.
*If this post resonates with just one person, it will be worth me sharing a picture that I was very hesitant to share here. So much has changed since Chicago, but that really is where this all began and I am so grateful for the whole learning experience for which this picture was the catalyst. Thank you for reading this post and for reading all of my posts that served as little dopamine hits throughout this life-changing ride. You are so appreciated.